Funny Quotes About Fatherhood From Zach Galifianakis


One of the most iconic images of Zach Galifianakis is his “Hangover” character wearing a baby carrier with his beloved Carlos tucked inside. But the comedian has likely embodied this image in real life as well.

Galifianakis and his wife, Quinn Lundberg, have two sons. Since becoming a dad in 2013, the comedian has used parenthood as a source for a number of sarcastic remarks and jokes on talk shows.

In honor of his birthday, here are nine funny and occasionally earnest quotes about fatherhood from Galifianakis.

On Being A Famous Dad

“We were driving in the car and … there was a bus with my face on it. And my son said, ‘Look, Daddy!’ I didn’t know what to say because I hadn’t really thought about it. He goes, ‘Who’s that?’ and I don’t know why, but I said, ‘Oh, some idiot.’ And 30 seconds later I hear him mumbling to himself, ‘Some idiot.’”

On His Strict Parenting Style

“I’m strict. He’s 2, and right now I have him on a strict exercise routine. When he gets out of the crib it’s 50 pushups right away. I run in place for eight seconds a day. And I feel like every little bit works — helps out. I think to have a really fit 2-year-old, and to show that he can kick other 2-year-olds’ butts is really important.”

On His Child Care Experience

“I was a nanny. The kids were older ― 21 and 22. No, I think at the time they were like 7 and 9 or something along those lines. So I have a little bit of experience with child care …. Discipline is very, very important. Kids crave discipline, right.”

On Bedtime

“I read a lot of the scripts from the movies I’ve been in to him.”

On The Sex Of His First Child

“We don’t wanna find out until it’s 16. We just call it ‘It’ right now. No, we haven’t named it yet. It has a number right now.”

On Baby Names

“Being in L.A., I didn’t want to give them L.A. names. One of them’s name is Pinkberry. Pinkberry is the older one. The other one is named Jared Leno, which is a cross between Jared Leto and Jay Leno.”

On His Kids’ Reaction To His Fame

“My kids don’t know anything. We don’t talk about what I do for a living, nor do my wife and I. I don’t talk about what I do for a living with anybody except on talk shows. When you are lucky enough to have a show in this town, there’s billboards. I was driving with my son … there’s a bus that pulls up, and it had my picture because of ‘Baskets.’ I’m looking in my rearview mirror to see what my 3-year-old’s reaction is because I don’t really talk about it to him. And he just goes like this [sighs]. As if, ‘How long’s this phase gonna last?’”

On His Rural Parenting Dreams

“Kids need to socialize with other people. But I wouldn’t mind them being wild. They would be polite enough to know you have to look another person in the eye and say hello. But also kind of superkids, where you come home and they’re up in the tree writing poetry. No Nintendo, none of that horseshit. And they’re very acrobatic. When they get off the tree, they would do a flip. Acrobatic wood kids.”

On Fatherhood

“We have a boy! I think fatherhood is just the greatest thing, it really really is.”